2002-01-01
Good Morning Dear Ones,
The Lord directs me to continue sharing His views on marriage, which reveal the love He has for all of us, whether married or not. Paul acknowledged the concept of different people, different talents-one which is important to all of us. 1COR 7: 7-9, “Actually I would prefer that all of you were as I am; but each one has a special gift from God, one person this gift, anther one that gift. Now, to the unmarried and to the widows I say that it would be better for you to continue to live alone as I do. But if you cannot restrain your desires, go ahead and marry-it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” I’m virtually certain this doesn’t mean marry the first person who comes along just to assuage sexual appetites. Nor does it mean marry without understanding the spiritual, sacred commitment which marriage from God’s perspective is. Of course, it doesn’t mean get married for pragmatic reasons that have nothing to do with love either.
Yesterday, I said I have a very old-fashioned view of what marriage should be. More accurately, I base my views on my understanding of God’s. While it is not my intention to offend any of my readers, I am willing to go out on a limb enough to say that God takes a very dim view indeed of people who co-habit outside of marriage, regardless of their age or circumstances. Dr. Laura Schlessinger calls it “shacking up.” So much of our worldly society has considered this acceptable. A common rationalization for this practice is, “I want to see what it’s like to live with this person before I commit to marrying. After all, it’s a good way to avoid going through a messy divorce.” Here’s another oft-used rationalization. “We have to live together and can’t get married, because one or both of us would lose our pension.” Dr. Schlessinger makes a very revealing comment in her book on the Ten Commandments. “When two people don’t understand that sex between a married couple is a sacred act, they spiritually estrange each other from one another and from God.” If my experience has taught me anything, the only solid bases for a lasting marriage are mature mutual respect, abiding and shared faith, a profound friendship with enough in common, shared goals, and a mutual attraction. Sexual passion alone, convenience, and other worldly reasons for people to come together are no substitutes for these. Quicky marriages are nothing more than a craps-shoot where the odds are in favor of one becoming a loser. It takes time to get to know another person. One must ask how much self-respect does a person have who is willing to jump into a marriage for reasons other than God’s? The answer to that same question is clearer when considering a person willing to “shack up.”
Paul had a lot to say on the subject of divorce. 1 COR 7: 10-16, “For married people I have a command which is not my own but the Lord’s: a wife must not leave her husband; but if she does, she must remain single or else be reconciled to her husband; and a husband must not divorce his wife. To the others I say (I, myself, not the Lord): if a Christian man has a wife who is an unbeliever and she agrees to go on living with him, he must not divorce her. And if a Christian woman is married to a man who is an unbeliever and he agrees to go on living with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made acceptable to God by being united to his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made acceptable to God by being united to her Christian husband. If this were not so, their children would be like pagan children; but as it is, they are acceptable to God. However, if the one who is not a believer wishes to leave the Christian partner, let it be so. In such cases the Christian partner, whether husband or wife, is free to act. God has called you to live in peace. How can you be sure, Christian wife, that you will not save your husband? Or how can you be sure, Christian husband, that you will not save your wife?” Now, here’s food for thought! In yesterday’s devotion, I made the comment about not taking the “easy way out” by walking out on a marriage when the going got rough. God would have us take the time to do what was necessary to get His help and the help of a competent counselor of faith, if necessary, to work out problems in a marriage. I’m sure of that. If we stop and think about it, God may very well have ordained a marriage between a believer and unbeliever for the purpose of bringing them both to profound faith. In that case, He uses the believer to bring the unbeliever to recognize the need to repent and accept Jesus Christ as the Lord of his/her life.
In his epistle to the Ephesians, Paul had more to say about wives and their husbands. EPH 5: 21-30, “Submit yourselves to one another because of your reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband has authority over his wife just as Christ has authority over the church; and Christ is Himself the Savior of the church, His body. And so wives must submit themselves completely to their husbands just as the church submits itself to Christ. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and give His life for it. He did this to dedicate the church to God by His word, after making it clean by washing it in water, in order to present the church to Himself in all its beauty-pure and faultless, without spot or blemish or any other imperfection. Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. (No one every hates his own body. Instead, he feeds it and takes care of it, just as Christ does the church; for we are members of His body.) Just in case someone reading this misses how important it is, look at EPH 5: 32-33. “There is a deep secret truth revealed in this Scripture [GN 2: 24], which I understand as applying to Christ and the church. But it also applies to you: every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband.” A marriage that conforms to these Godly ideals isn’t going to include perversion, unfaithfulness, unhealthy competition, abuse, and all the other weapons that the adversary uses to bring about destruction.
PRAYER: O Lord, You have asked us to enter into marriage carefully and to recognize that You are a rightful partner in such a union. The guide-lines You have given us are gifts with Godly purposes for our best interests behind them. When we follow them, we can work through the problems that beset us, pulling closer together for having done so with both our spouse and with You. You give us victory over the adversary with Your teachings and through the sacrifice of Your Son. The paradigm You set for us is faithfulness, loyalty, consistency, wisdom, compassion, patience, and absolutely awesome love. While we fall short of that model, we can use it as a road map to follow, a direction to seek. Jesus Christ is the embodiment of love. His attitude toward the church has given us an ideal to seek in our relationships within marriage and in caring for others around us. Dear Lord, we offer You our thanks, adoration, worship and praise. You deserve all the glory. In Christ’s name, amen.
Most of the citations we have seen so far are from the NT. However, much is said in the OT about marriage which deserves some of our time. So, that is what we will look at tomorrow. Everyday, we have a loving Abba Who roots for us to succeed in getting through the challenges of our lives. His teachings help us to come closer to Him when we follow them. That is a real demonstration of love that propels us on the path toward eternal fellowship and joy with Him. Peter and I send you our love too.
Grace Be With You Always,
Lynn