2002-01-01
Good Morning Dear Ones,
There is a citation which I gave the other day, which bears repeating here. It is Micah 6: 8, “…The lord has told us what is good. What He requires of us is this: to do what is just, to show constant love, and to live in humble fellowship with our God.” Of course, this applies to every facet of our lives as believers, including marriage. I’m not ashamed to say that I have a very old fashioned idea about the institution of marriage. Because of what I have been through in my own personal life before I met Peter, I can tell you that God has excellent reasons for inspiring Scripture that encourages taking marriage seriously enough not to enter into it lightly, to understand the nature of the marital relationship, and to remain faithful to one’s spouse as long as he/she lives. What that requires is entering into a marriage when one is mature enough to really understand it is a three-way commitment, between a man, a woman, and God. That’s the only triangle that is acceptable. It means when the going gets rough, as it does in everyone’s lives at some time, you work together with God and each other to solve the problem, you don’t give up, walk out, and take the so-called “easy way.” It also means entering into marriage for the right reasons: not because of a sexual passion not backed with mutual respect and friendship; not because two immature people are trying to escape from responsibilities; not for reasons of fraud; not because the marital partners are being forced against their will by others.
I was quite interested to note when I began reading MT 19 and 1 COR 7 on the subject of marriage how much was said about reasons for not marrying. I’m old enough to have grown up at the time when people thought there must be something wrong with a girl who wasn’t married by the time she was 20 or 21. She was called a “spinster.” Thankfully, that trend has all but disappeared. It must have been a throwback to the days in England, for example, when the eldest daughter was married off first and then each succeeding daughter in age order, each being presented with a dowry or “bride price.” That would mean that a family without the money to pay the dowry would not be able to “marry off” their daughter (s). Needless to say, those old practices led to a lot of unhappiness. MT 19: 12 , “For there are different reasons why men cannot marry; some, because they were born that way; others, because men made them that way; and others do not marry for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven. Let him who can accept this teaching do so.” If I understand this teaching of Christ’s correctly, it’s okay to remain single, if that is what gives you happiness and allows you to be a more Godly person. Note, it didn’t say it’s okay to be self-centered and a miserable person. When I was young, society taught us to think there must be something wrong with a person who doesn’t choose to marry and have a family. What stupidity, when I think of it! Whether or not an individual chooses to marry is between that person and the Lord. Hopefully, I have gotten past the foolishness of thinking marriage is the only “normal” lifestyle. Personally, I have been incredibly blessed by the examples of Godliness set by some of my single and widowed friends. I decided somewhere along the line to leave the self-righteous judgments behind and let the Lord do any judging that must be done.
There is enough said in the Scriptures about marriage that I’m unlikely to finish this subject in one devotion; so, bear with me as I take the path God directs. It is a fact that more people than not seek the companionship and advantages that being married gives. God certainly established marriage as a viable institution designed to carry out His purposes, including companionship and procreation. GN 2: 18, “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to live alone. I will make a suitable companion to help him.’ “ GN 2: 23-24, “Then the man said, ‘At last, here is one of my own kind-bone taken from my bone, and flesh from my flesh.’ ‘Woman’ is her name because she was taken out of man. That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife, and they become one.” Since we are told over and over to do as JN 13: 34 tells us throughout the Scriptures, this directive would certainly include within the marriage relationship. “And now I give you a new commandment: Love one another as I have loved you…” If we take the time to understand what God reveals to us in the Scriptures, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that God wants us to mirror the love He has for us in our relationships with others. That certainly includes one’s spouse.
When a marriage is real, that is, it is ordained of God, there a special rules from God that apply to it. Christ said in MT 19: 11, “This teaching does not apply to everyone, but only to those to whom God has given it.” Let’s look at what the Scriptures say about these rules. Our Lord reiterated GN 2: 24 in MT 19: 5 and went on to add in (6), “So they are no longer two, but one. Man must not separate, then, what God has joined together.” When the Pharisees asked Christ why Moses gave people permission to divorce their wives, His answer in (19: 8-9) was, “because you were so hard to teach. It was not like that at the time of creation. I tell you, then, that any man who divorces his wife, even through she has not been unfaithful, commits adultery if he marries some other woman.” God inspired Paul to write on the subject of marriage in 1 COR 7: 1-16. 1COR 7: 1-2, “…A man does well not to marry. But because there is so much immorality, every man should have his own wife, and every woman should have her own husband.” 1 COR 7: 4-5 makes it clear that a spouse should not hold back from his marital partner, except temporarily by mutual agreement for prayer. God is a Realist Who understands human nature enough to cause Paul to say in (5), “In this way you will be kept from giving in to the devil’s temptation because of your lack of self-control.”
PRAYER: O Lord, You understand human frailties and foibles only too well. We were given passions to be used for Your purposes, but our sinful natures cause them to become idols that the adversary wants to use to control us. Yet, in Your great love for us, You have given us the teachings of the OT prophets, Your Son, and people of the NT like Paul, so that we can learn Your ways. Through Christ’s death on the cross, the greatest sacrifice of all, You have given us a way out from sin’s power over us. We find ourselves in society which rationalizing sin has been raised to an art form. This is particularly true with regard to anything that has to do with sexual behavior. You do not want us to forget what the real meaning of marriage is, as You define it. Help us to spend the time to make Your ways our own, even if it means taking time to marry the right person, working through difficult problems to save a marriage, making You a partner in our marriages, or choosing to remain single so as to better serve You. Lord, help us to know that if we have questions, we can always come to You for righteous and wise guidance. In Christ’s name, amen.
Tomorrow, the Lord directs me to look further into the questions about marriage and what He has to say in the Scriptures about this very important subject. The very fact that God has that much to say about it is a testament to the incredible love He has for all of us, whether married or single. One great gift that comes out of staying in the Word that one cannot miss is how much our Lord loves us. I hope you are feeling as loved today as I am, because you are. Peter and I also send you our love.
Grace Be With You Always,
Lynn