2019-11-15
Good Morning Dear Ones,
I am obeying the Lord’s directive that I should summarize His wisdom about the parent/child relationship. 1) Have patience and listen well first, before trying to settle a conflict. Give time for emotions to calm unless the danger, legality, or morality demands immediate action. Remember each child is an individual and should be treated as such. 2) Choose battles wisely. 3) Be consistent with each child. Parents should present a united front. 4) Set an example of obedience to God and going to Him first before trying to settle a conflict. Allow for discussion of conflict once the emotions are at peace. 5) Set an example of prayer and study of the Bible and school subjects. Use every good teaching moment. 6) When there is more than one child in the family, don’t play favorites. Remember the difficulties that Jacob’s family ran into when Joseph and Benjamin were favored. 7) Don’t expect perfection from a child. 8) When children are naturally loners, try to show them the blessings of having friends and how to be a good friend. 9) Show by example that utter selfishness leads to misery and serving others brings good self-image and feelings. 10) Never jump to conclusions, but carefully think first before speaking. (11) Do not judge the fate of others [see MT 7: 1-2]. (12) Don’t anger a child unnecessarily, or he will become discouraged.
Sadly, in today’s society, many children are left to either raise themselves or be raised by strangers. That’s because both parents are working. When the parents come home from work, they are tired and must prepare dinner. That makes it tough to be patient. Have at least one meal a day together; normally that’s dinner. Wealthier parents put their children in day care or after-school programs. The majority that aren’t so well off have “latchkey” children who come home or get into trouble after school. Homework goes as the child does. All the above summary applies to parents, so we must ask, what is the child’s responsibility. The answer must be age-appropriate, except that all children should obey the Lord and their parents. Irresponsible parents are an exception to this rule about children obeying, because if a parent is on drugs or alcohol for example, then it may be necessary for an older child to report parental bad behavior to the police to get them help. The truth is that a child cannot rear himself. In our family, the three watchwords of Jewish life were in force: 1) Get a good education, 2) Be generous with donations for the needy, and 3) Be hospitable. These things are not only taught to Jews, but also to Christians. There is no substitute for a loving, wise parent or guardian. A child is told in the Ten Commandments [EX 20: 1-17], in verse 12, it says “Honor your mother and father.” It’s too bad that this commandment is so often broken.
PR 6: 20-23, “Son, do what your father tells you and never forget what your mother taught you. Keep their words with you always, locked in your heart. Their teaching will lead you when you travel, protect you at night, and advise you during the day. Their instructions are a shining light; they can teach you how to live.” Good and wise parents are assumed here. Hopefully, a person gains some wisdom from his obedient faith in the Lord and willingness to delve into His wisdom. Since my parents weren’t always ideal, then it was necessary for me to not parent as they did. This means overcoming what I experienced in childhood and to assuming more Christian ideals, as I came to Christ and married a very wise, gentle, and sweet man. The above citation was focused at sons and not necessarily daughters. The latter need protection from predators. Once daughters are grown, they must be very careful to not let the grand passion determine their marriages, but instead, choose wisely and when mature enough to make great, life-lasting marital unions with the help of the Lord. And praise to Him, as He listens to every prayer sent up no matter when! It brought a smile to my face when I read PR 23: 22, “Listen to your father; without him you would not exist. When your mother is old, show her your appreciation.” The reason I say this is because of a story I heard from a wise father I know. He and his wife were growing older. Their children met together and decided they would build a downsized home next to their home and move their aging parents into it. The parents were not invited to this meeting. Then, the adult children told their parents about their plan. To their surprise, the parents basically rejected the plan, reminding their children that they were both of sound mind and wanted self-determination. These things are very important to the elderly. Unless memory issues are involved, any elderly parent would want to determine his own lifestyle. This situation happens more often then one would think. The picture changes entirely if one or more of the parents are unable to take care of themselves, of course. (See also PR 23: 23-25).
PRAYER: O Lord, we appeal to You to continue to share Your wisdom with us; keep us with sound minds and kind hearts. You alone are our One and only God, and we love You. Your love for us is seen in our history with You. While many of us have disappointed You, You have told us that nothing can separate us from Your love [RO 8: 38-39]. You care for us when we are willing to look for Your intervention in our lives and take stock of those blessings. If it is possible, teach us from Your wisdom the real place in our lives that idols like material wealth, human-crafted attributes, and lack of good deeds. Show us that these idols don’t really enhance who we are or other facets of our lives. Allow us to decide things and act on them with Your leadership. Please keep us from being sidetracked by lies and false teaching. Yes Lord, we’ve asked for these things first, but these requests are accompanied by our acknowledgement of Your primary position in our lives and superiority in every way. These prayers and praises are sent up in the holy/mighty name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
NEXT WEEK: I’m commanded by the Holy Spirit to write about the spiritual aspects of living a godly life. These things apply to all our relationships, including the parent/child one. We will look at DT 6: 4-9 and PS 78: 1-4, which also offer support Scripture to the book of Colossians. I stand amazed that this little four-chapter book of the Bible has covered so much that is rich in wisdom for us. We can learn so much about God’s ideal parent/child, marital, friendship, and other interaction between people. This is truly the richness and depth of God’s wisdom. There is nothing that humbles me more than what God says through Isaiah, in IS 55: 8-9 [God speaking], “’My thoughts,’ says the Lord, ‘are not like yours, and My ways are different from yours. As high as the heavens are above the earth, so high are My ways and thoughts above yours.’” How comforting to hear these words, from IS 46: 3-4, “Listen to Me, descendants of Jacob, all who are left of My people, I have cared for you from the time you were born. I am your God and will take care of you until you are old, and your hair is gray. I made you and will care for you. I will give you help and rescue you.” And yes, I believe the Lord, when I look at my own life. Here is a great truth, found in PS 40: 1-3, “I waited patiently for the Lord’s help; then He listened to me and heard my cry. He pulled me out of a dangerous pit, out of the deadly quicksand. He set me safely on a Rock and made me secure. He taught me a new song, a song of praise to our God. Many who see this will take warning and will put their trust in the Lord.” I leave you with this message, from PS 37: 4-5, “Give yourself to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will help you: He will help you and make your righteousness shine like the noonday sun.” Praise and thanks be to Him!
Grace Be With You Always,
Lynn
JS 24: 15
© Lynn Johnson 2019. All Rights Reserved.
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