2012-02-03
Hi There Dear Ones,
Last week, I wrote a “cliffhanger” paragraph, which I will now repeat here: “Now, this brings us to a very sticky subject, the making of committed relationships in the first place. I believe that the ability to make wise commitments is necessary to one’s emotional and spiritual maturity. Without them, we are stopped and just can’t move forward. They are necessary to stability, surrender to God, and real happiness. And having said that, I promise to elaborate on this issue in next week’s devotion.” This subject is raised because of all the uncommitted relationships that are formed and leave our society with far-reaching negative consequences. For example, take the live-in relationships that were formed by two sexually mature daughters of a set of parents who are married. One daughter had two female children by her first live-in boyfriend, and then, as 80 % of such relationships do, they broke up. This left the daughter trying to support herself and her two children on a meager salary, meager because this daughter never finished enough education to get a good job. Then, she formed a second relationship with another man, who married her, quickly got her pregnant, and then refused to have her two older children in his home due to their bad behavior. He threatened her with divorce unless she found another home for her two older children. She remained married, but sent these two girls off to their paternal grandmother to be raised by this lady. These two older girls are now behavior problems for their grandmother. The other daughter formed an uncommitted relationship with a man with whom she had three sons, and then they broke up. Her sons were behavior problems, and they were bounced back and forth between their parents. This daughter became involved with drugs. Finally, she went through rehab and got her three sons back. These four people are now having trouble financially and are having to rely on state aid for the basics. Repeated attempts to help her by her parents failed. In the meanwhile, this daughter formed another uncommitted relationship which didn’t work out. She and the three boys want to move out of this man’s house, but don’t have the means to make it on their own.
While the story of these two ladies isn’t over yet, it is obvious that they and their children are becoming a drain on society. Their many immoral decisions will affect their children and possibly generations to come. Many people in prison can report being products of unstable, uncommitted relationships. As believers, we are exposed to God’s words from the OT, in PS 103: 17-18, “But for those who honor the Lord, His love lasts forever, and His goodness endures for all generations of those who are true to His covenant and who faithfully obey His commands.” These words should not be taken lightly. It’s one thing to say, we should raise our children and grandchildren to love the Lord, and it’s another thing to do it. Our society is rapidly becoming more and more evil. 1 PET 5: 6-9, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” Resist him , standing firm in the truth, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” God has warned us about the danger, but we humans have an awful capacity for rationalization of our sins. I remember a man I know well who was then in an uncommitted relationship telling me he gets all the benefits of marriage without any of the legal responsibilities. “It’s the best of both worlds,” he told me. Later when the relationship broke up, this man did some maturing. He then met a woman who told him that if he isn’t interested in eventually marrying, she didn’t want to date him. He was falling in love for the first time and finally asked her to marry him, once he knew her well. Their marriage is lasting, and it is based on a mutually respectful and warm friendship. He came back to me, telling me, “I now understand what you meant when you said an uncommitted relationship is nothing like a marriage.”
Spiritual surrender to God is key to forwarding emotional and spiritual maturity. It’s what God wants for us, because He knows this is the way to eventually gaining eternal life with Him and avoiding the unthinkable in hell. HE 5: 13-14, “Anyone who lives on milk being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish between good and evil.” These are the people who are willing to take guidance from the Lord. Even people who have sinned as those I’ve mentioned above, while alive have a chance to come in genuine contrition to the Lord and receive His forgiveness. But they must do it as soon as possible, because no one, not even the Lord Jesus, knows the exact time when He will come again [MT 24: 36]. These people can pray, PS 31: 3-5, “Since you are my Rock and my Fortress, for the sake of Your name lead and guide me. Free me from the snare that is set for me, for You are my Refuge. Into Your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth.” And yes, we have been told that the Lord God can and will forgive if genuine heartfelt confession is made, and one professes faith in His Son, Jesus Christ [1 JN 1: 9; RO 10: 9-10; JN 14: 6 ]. Yes, commitments are essential to our emotional and spiritual growth, in the same way that a student attempting to get a college degree must commit to being self-disciplined in his studies and willing to make them a high priority over other things in his life. Only a commitment to the Lord should be the highest of all priorities, if wisdom and righteousness are to be a part of our lives. Remember PR 9: 10, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. “
PRAYER: Dearest Father, we appeal to You to continue to give us the guidance we need to first make righteous decisions concerning our own commitments, and then to set an example for others considering what their relationships will be. We must understand the difference between righteousness and self-righteousness, recognizing that we have no right to judge others. That is why You gave us MT 7: 1-2, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Where decisions concerning marriage commitments, we must take the time to really know the other person first. Then when we make a commitment to them, we must follow through before God and others, establishing the permanent covenant that God desires. Furthermore, we must live righteously within that covenant made. Neither fornication before marriage, nor adultery after it is acceptable to You; we should not engage in these practices. Where other commitments are at hand, we must measure them by Your yardstick, not by ones artificially established by other humans. We must understand the meaning to our lives of the call to faith in Your Son that You have given us. 2 COR 5: 17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, He is a new creation; the old has gone and the new has come!” You help us to understand this “new creation” with COL 3: 9-10, “Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed to knowledge in the image of its Creator.” We must never waste on drop of the blood our Lord Jesus shed for us, so that we could be saved [JN 3: 16: RO 3: 24-25]. Thank You, Dearest Abba. We praise You in the holy/mighty name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
NEXT WEEK: I am led next week to begin a new segment called “Rejecting Sin.” Doing this is not always easy, but we must remember that the alternative to eternal life is conscious torment from which there is no escape for eternity-hell or gehenna. None of us wants this negative consequence. We must remember 2 PET 3: 9, “The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient withy you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” To reject sin, we must reveal all the sins, hidden or overt, before God and confess them with openness and honesty before Him. This process isn’t always easy either, because we may be embarrassed, prideful, or used to being in denial about it. Nevertheless, the Lord has taught us to live with righteousness. PR 4: 10-13, 18-19, “Listen, My son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many. I instruct you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. When you walk, your steps will not be hampered. Hold on to instruction, do not let go; guard it well, for it is your life…The path of righteousness is brighter till the full light of day. But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble.” PS 37: 23-24 sheds further light on this subject, so we don’t feel like the Lord ever abandons us in our trials. The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord. He delights in every details of their lives. Though they stumble, they will not fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.” We are truly a blessed people when faith in the Lord is at the center of our lives. Praise and thanks be to Him!
Grace Be With You Always,
Lynn
JS 24: 15